Women and Bad Boys: What Is The Attraction??

"Bad Boys".

If you are a woman, May you say "hmmm" you hear these words. You know you should not, but you can not help you.

There is just something about these guys who you draw, even though your boss tells you "attention"!

So what exactly is the attraction? This is not necessarily that they are more physically attractive or smarter or more successful than the "nice guy". In fact, they may have less of these qualities, be even more difficult to resist.

So what is it? Let us begin by defining these guys. This term is generally applied to men who treat women badly. Are these behaviors ring a bell?

* Call at 8:30 on a Saturday evening to ask if you want to get at the same time

* Not showing up for a date followed by no phone call or apology

* Never have money when you're on the move

* Ignore or forget your date of birth and other important dates

* Openly flirting with other women when you are together

* Knocking on your good friend (s)

* Booty calls for 1 hour, after they had a night with other

* Is time to take a serious crime

Instead of asking "what is it about these guys," as the place to examine what it is about women who can not oppose it. The following are statements of women who have a history of attracting these guys. See if any of these sound familiar.

* "It's never BORING with him. It is unpredictable and exciting."

* "It is strong, aggressive and self-insured, I feel safe with him."

* "It's not his fault, he tries to get his life together."

* "I have not met someone else makes me feel the way he did."

* "It is so charming and passionate."

* "He told me how much he loves me, so he must really feel something for me."

* "He needs me."

* "It does not come as a need and despair."

* "I can not believe I drew someone like him."

Now, on the face of them, they seem fairly mild. We all seek at least some of these traits among people of our choice. So where is the problem?

The key is in its inability to meet basic needs women. She is the one doing all (or more) by the offer. The question that arises is on, "What for?"

The answer can be found by examining the three fundamental questions:

* Level of self-esteem

* The ability to privacy

* The roles it has been throughout his life

If a woman feels good about herself, she chooses a mate communicate verbally and non-verbally to her that she is valued and respected. It will not allow that other person to undermine its positive self-value. It believes in its ability to participate in a healthy, reciprocal relationship.

If it does not feel well herself, she chooses someone who reinforces negative self-beliefs.

If a woman is capable of genuine intimacy, it is open to the true availability of the other person. She wants to be fully and actively participating in the relationship. It can afford to be open, vulnerable and able to take and receive all that true intimacy offer.

If intimacy is difficult, she choose someone who is distant, difficult to connect with and not emotionally and / or physically available.

If a woman had a healthy role in its relations since childhood, she will choose someone with whom she can continue this healthy interaction.

If a woman has been too long in the role of rescuer, care or those who sacrifice for the sake of others, it will probably be the role it will seek in its relations.

Fortunately, most women are somewhere in between on these issues. Thus, the task is to assess each area and decide a plan of action that will help you choose a "nice guy", which stimulates the senses and meets your needs while actually available for a real relationship.

Begin by evaluating what you enjoy most in life and can not live without.

Did http://www.consum-mate.com/newslets/02oct.htm for an article on "clarification of life and your values."

Once you know what is most important to you and think you are worthy of doing this, you have to take a giant step towards finding the right partner for you.

Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News, Discovery Channel and the online health of AOL. As one commentator contribute weekly radio KTRS Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating advice and relationship advice in response to comments listener. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer the mere knowledge and tools they need to find and maintain a healthy and lasting love relationships. She is a member of the International Coach Federation and the International Association of Coaches.